Sue
(Standing around my father’s grave my mother was holding his ashes contained in a small wooden box…)
Pastor: Joanne, is there anything you’d like to say?
Mom: Yes, I would. (quiet pause) “Fred, this is the first time I’ve been able to lift you by myself.”
Submitted by: Sue
Awww! XD
I know it is inappropriate to laugh at a funeral, but how are you supposed to keep a straight face when someone says something like this?
Actually, at my families funeral’s it’s appropriate, as long as it’s from something like that or someone talking about a really funny memory. Why obsess over the loss when you can savour the memories.
Mind you, one of my uncles insisted everyone wore Hawaiian themed clothes(loud shirts) to his funeral. And tried to have a stand-up comedian at the reception after the ceremony.
It is funny how people can react to funerals. For instance, Taiwanese and some Chinese funerals have strip shows. It started in the 80s, and has been popularized. I think my husband would marry me all over again if I did that for him.
Ummm….maybe not, since he’d be dead….or maybe you’re into that kind of thing…just sayin’
Funerals are awful for everyone. But as long as you’re not making completely fun of it there’s nothing wrong about a little loosening. I wouldn’t want my family to be glad of me being dead, but I wouldn’t want them to die in grief, too.
I agree. I’d rather people remember me with happiness, than sadness. Celebrate the life lived, instead of lost!
Hell, my grandma has told us to have a traditional Irish wake. “If I’m dead, it means I’m no longer in this body”
Win x]]
agreed..
“Goodbye, and thanks for buying life insurance.”
i…i dont get it…
oh….oh noes….i can’t explain it….
I can! Ashes typically weigh less than the comparable quantity of flesh.
I call shenanigans. This has got to be made up.
Why? Funerals can be a lot of fun. I don’t think I’ve ever been to one where people didn’t crack up at least once. If you loved the person who died you don’t mope, you celebrate their life. We had a lot of laughs at my dads funeral.
I have trouble understanding this concept of a funeral, but I have never buried anyone I know so I won’t say it’s crazy. Still, I really think depending who it is that died I would publicly humiliate whoever even smiled at the funeral.
Look at it this way. You start talking about the person and how much you’re going to miss them. Why are you going to miss them? Is it because they gave the best hugs or baked the best cookies? Maybe it’s because they were always up for a quick game of football or because they always had a funny joke to tell. Unless the person is a complete jerk people are going to start coming up with amusing stories about how wonderful the deceased was. When someone dies you don’t want to mope around, you want to remember the good times you had together and that often involves a lot of smiling and laughter.
The OP didn’t mention how old his/her dad was when he passed away either. If a person lived a long life, or was very sick before they died, it’s completely normal for family to do their grieving before the person dies. Funerals like this aren’t usually sad. If the person was suffering, it can be a relief that they have passed on, and you just want to celebrate the good memories.
I totally agree with the “celebrate their life” sentiment. Funerals can be bittersweet. Sure, you’re sad the person is gone, but you look back on all the good things you experienced with them.
And if they were someone who had a sense of humor, it’s only appropriate to make a joke. And if its your spouse and you really loved them, and you make a joke like that, really, who the hell can fault you? Sometimes humor is the one thing that keeps us sane during times of loss.
I smiled and fought back tears when I read this post. Seriously. Surf Wisely.
I don’t find it innapropriate, it’s pretty cute
Thanks to all who understand how humor at a time of crisis can be a way of dealing and healing! My Dad was also known for his sense of humor, and had worried about my Mom helping him while he was going through chemo that he was “too heavy” for her if he happened to fall.
Even the pastor understood and chuckled, when my Mom made the comment at his graveside service, knowing my Dad would have appreciated the wit of my Mom.
My Dad had repeatedly chided my Mom before his passing, “Jo, don’t you dare bury me in the sun. You know how much I hate being in the sun and getting hot, so make sure to bury me in the shady side of the cemetary, or I’ll come back and haunt you!” They were just a few months shy of their 50th anniversary when my Dad passed. My Mom passed two & 1/2 years later from ovarian cancer, a day after what would have been their 53rd anniversary.
She had told the pastor before she died, that she couldn’t wait to see my father again and have that dance he had always promised….my Dad hated to dance, and no matter how much my mom pleaded, she couldn’t get him to dance with her at family weddings or other formal occasions. He’d joke that he wouldn’t be caught dead dancing in public. I asked her how she’d figure that up in heaven my Dad would dance if he wouldn’t here on earth, and she said, “Since I couldn’t make him, I’m betting God will make him keep his promise!” I bet she got that dance! I think of them both every day, and smile. Love you forever, Mom & Dad!
That is beautiful! Thank you for sharing. Your parents seemed like wonderful, happily married people. That is to be admired!
this brought tears in my eyes :’) really thank you for sharing!
Sue, thanks for sharing. It’s such a beautiful story!
Am I the only one who realizes that it basically says he was both buried and cremated in the same sentence? I’m pretty sure that doesn’t happen
My grandparents were each cremated and buried in the same plot. So yeah, it does happen.
Of course it does. We cremated my mother, who died in the winter, and buried her in the same plot as her parents come summer, when the ground had thawed enough to dig a place for her.
It happens a lot, in different parts of the world. Maybe it’s different where you come from.
We laughed a lot, both at her memorial service and the actual burial.
Lovely story, Sue. Hope your mother got her dance!
Yes, he was cremated and buried. He was actually cremated following his funeral, and then we all met at the cemetary the following week and placed his ashes in the gravesite. My parents had purchased a burial plot in our small town cemetary back when they were in their 30′s, next to my maternal grandparents. It was a family plot, but by the time they both passed away in their early 70′s, cremation had become much more common and is what they chose for themselves. They both still wanted to have their ashes buried in the plot, which they had split to allow enough room for an aunt and uncle, (my mom’s oldest brother and sister-in-law) to also be buried in the family plot when they pass away.
Monty Python ftw!
RIP Graham Chapman. May you rock the After World with your sketches. =D
i understand how light can be seen in a passing of a family member, when my aunt died, it was REALLY sad, but we celebrated her life, instead of mourn her death. that’s jsut the traditions of our crazy irish catholic family – my grandpa always called it “stepping into the next room…”
remember, good things always come from the bad things!
I am also Irish, but Protestant….lol….my Dad always said that best speeches were like a body at an Irish wake, seen but not heard.